Happy as fuck to be on vacation in Boulder, Colorado. So much so in fact that despite my best efforts I'm not particularly disappointed in myself for putting off my last goal. It will happen eventually, perhaps this week, but certainly when i return on the 26th.
That said I'm resolving to post a couple random entries within the next day or so....Till then ill be basking I'm the glory of Boulder!
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Day Two
Not gonna lie, I already feel somewhat accomplished for updating this a second time. Day two is when the initial motivation wanes and yields to old unproductive routines. The hard work of replacing those with new patterns begins now.
But where to direct such work? If you want to change essentially everything where do you begin? Obviously I can't change everything immediately...an attempt would be counter-productive and certain to fail. Not should I focus on trivial/effortless changes and risk missing the point entirely. But of course I must do something. Results are motivating and change begets further change. So perhaps I should start with those entrenched patterns which impede change across a broad spectrum of behaviors.
To that end I've identified two massive issues which require immediate attention if only to remove them as excuses for further development. The first is debt consisting of credit cards, student loans, and car loans. Though hardly unique in this regard any of my efforts in the financial/career department are severely hampered by accrued debt. Having to make hundreds every month merely to service interest results in countless hours of lost energy which could otherwise be devoted to something I'm passionate about. Significant chunks of my time literally belong to corporations I don't even work for and I'm fucking tired of it.
My second issue is hearing. Or rather my gradual inability to hear properly. I'll try to be brief here but for something on the order of fifteen years I've had trouble hearing high frequency sound. It's gradually gotten worse and shows no signs of abating. It exerts a negative impact on virtually every conversation/relationship I have yet despite the repeated insistence of many I've never done a thing to address it. This despite the fact that technology exists which might solve the problem entirely. This unwillingness is completely fucking insane and almost painfully embarrassing to admit. But let this admission be the first step towards resolving it once and for all.
GOAL FOR FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 21st
Make an appointment with an audiologist AND publish plan to pay off debt!
But where to direct such work? If you want to change essentially everything where do you begin? Obviously I can't change everything immediately...an attempt would be counter-productive and certain to fail. Not should I focus on trivial/effortless changes and risk missing the point entirely. But of course I must do something. Results are motivating and change begets further change. So perhaps I should start with those entrenched patterns which impede change across a broad spectrum of behaviors.
To that end I've identified two massive issues which require immediate attention if only to remove them as excuses for further development. The first is debt consisting of credit cards, student loans, and car loans. Though hardly unique in this regard any of my efforts in the financial/career department are severely hampered by accrued debt. Having to make hundreds every month merely to service interest results in countless hours of lost energy which could otherwise be devoted to something I'm passionate about. Significant chunks of my time literally belong to corporations I don't even work for and I'm fucking tired of it.
My second issue is hearing. Or rather my gradual inability to hear properly. I'll try to be brief here but for something on the order of fifteen years I've had trouble hearing high frequency sound. It's gradually gotten worse and shows no signs of abating. It exerts a negative impact on virtually every conversation/relationship I have yet despite the repeated insistence of many I've never done a thing to address it. This despite the fact that technology exists which might solve the problem entirely. This unwillingness is completely fucking insane and almost painfully embarrassing to admit. But let this admission be the first step towards resolving it once and for all.
GOAL FOR FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 21st
Make an appointment with an audiologist AND publish plan to pay off debt!
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Day One
The most pressing problem in a journey without an objective destination is how to begin. I don't know how, I still don't know and i've come to realize that I never will. So rather than meekly yield to the paralysis of indecision as I always have before, Im just gonna start. Im not happy with my life and i haven't been for as long as i can remember. This is not to say I'm a generally unhappy person and I've certainly had a number of edifying experiences, met amazing people, and largely enjoyed myself along the way. Yet its always been apparent that Im not the person I want to be and tragically have taken few if any objective steps in that direction. Time served to amplify this warning yet I chose to ignore it, gradually shrinking from the challenges of life. Well that shit is done, from this point forward Im going to be who i want to be, embracing and directing change in order to become the ideal conception of myself, by my own completely selfish standards. Fundamentally this is a process, a sort of never-ending journey filled with innumerable missteps, stumbles and wrong turns. This will not deter me, on the contrary, how would i know the right way except by comparison to the wrong.
So why the blog? From a purely practical perspective I want an excruciatingly honest account of my journey to keep me motivated along the way. This will be the place for formal goal setting, tracking progress and recording insights. Ill begin with minor daily objective goals, hopefully progressing to heretofore unconcieved long term ones. Also, I'd like to create a platform for interacting with people of similiar mind/desires for as neglected/important as face to face connection is it seems foolish to ignore the literally boundless resource of the internet. Hopefully i can contribute something of value to this as well. Ultimately of course i want to see where this goes, what this can become, what I can become. I have no idea where i'm going, no certain method of getting there, but Im starting anyway...Now!
GOAL FOR THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 20th 2012: Publish second blog post by 11 am.
So why the blog? From a purely practical perspective I want an excruciatingly honest account of my journey to keep me motivated along the way. This will be the place for formal goal setting, tracking progress and recording insights. Ill begin with minor daily objective goals, hopefully progressing to heretofore unconcieved long term ones. Also, I'd like to create a platform for interacting with people of similiar mind/desires for as neglected/important as face to face connection is it seems foolish to ignore the literally boundless resource of the internet. Hopefully i can contribute something of value to this as well. Ultimately of course i want to see where this goes, what this can become, what I can become. I have no idea where i'm going, no certain method of getting there, but Im starting anyway...Now!
GOAL FOR THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 20th 2012: Publish second blog post by 11 am.
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